i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
