I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Nicole vs. Life
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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