she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize