dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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