I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
