Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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