You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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