yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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