never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
