"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
