it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
