i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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