someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
