Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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