Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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