I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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