What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
