i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
