I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize