I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
