i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Randomize
