lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
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You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
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I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.