just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.