I think my vagina is haunted
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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