So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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