We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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