3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize