I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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