I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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