So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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