oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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