i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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