Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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