Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
