i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize