Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my phone needs a breathalizer
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.