Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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  (504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life http://tfl.nu/kko9
  Replies (21) Good night (6632) Bad night (1244)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.

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  (315): Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages. http://tfl.nu/62kk
  Replies (15) Good night (2723) Bad night (1120)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.

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  (224): Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night. http://tfl.nu/rq15
  Replies (9) Good night (3584) Bad night (1477)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy

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  (732): On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy http://tfl.nu/zv53
  Replies (57) Good night (5617) Bad night (775)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.

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  (215): I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now. http://tfl.nu/hl5z
  Replies (6) Good night (3770) Bad night (612)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning

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  (+64): He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning http://tfl.nu/zdbu
  Replies (52) Good night (1792) Bad night (8150)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick

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  (254): oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick http://tfl.nu/vqpx
  Replies (13) Good night (3431) Bad night (997)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?

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  (734): THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!? http://tfl.nu/2mg7
  Replies (19) Good night (4453) Bad night (1106)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.

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  (804): They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source. http://tfl.nu/hphy
  Replies (13) Good night (1710) Bad night (1037)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.

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  (757): Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life. http://tfl.nu/3f3y
  Replies (13) Good night (1253) Bad night (864)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.

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  (434): You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/0jb8
  Replies (10) Good night (1067) Bad night (415)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.

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  (810): you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam. http://tfl.nu/qr51
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (313)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.

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  (815): We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever. http://tfl.nu/gebx
  Replies (0) Good night (715) Bad night (503)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Oh we're gynecologists

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  (334): Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween? (334): Oh we're gynecologists http://tfl.nu/xv3o
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (177)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.

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  (202): As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring. http://tfl.nu/gw6v
  Replies (21) Good night (1807) Bad night (225)

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