yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went