Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.

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  (703): Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally. http://tfl.nu/lv6m
  Replies (17) Good night (635) Bad night (1341)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.

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  (303): It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac. http://tfl.nu/tpbw
  Replies (28) Good night (1230) Bad night (12801)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  Where's it at?

  (706): View more from Georgia

  In your pants.

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  (706): We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now. (1-706): Where's it at? (706): In your pants. http://tfl.nu/w8ar
  Replies (19) Good night (7552) Bad night (1206)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club

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  (732): It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club http://tfl.nu/j8mx
  Replies (14) Good night (5928) Bad night (1002)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.

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  (337): Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life. http://tfl.nu/xhxl
  Replies (15) Good night (2548) Bad night (1095)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family

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  (410): She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family http://tfl.nu/p7y1
  Replies (6) Good night (1063) Bad night (3496)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.

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  (847): I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet. http://tfl.nu/wpea
  Replies (2) Good night (2063) Bad night (1550)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.

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  (636): Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me. http://tfl.nu/3e5v
  Replies (9) Good night (1583) Bad night (737)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.

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  (978): rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home. http://tfl.nu/3qi1
  Replies (8) Good night (1190) Bad night (592)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.

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  (360): Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred. http://tfl.nu/7z2u
  Replies (9) Good night (396) Bad night (1396)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did

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  (610): You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did http://tfl.nu/pssp
  Replies (3) Good night (1337) Bad night (388)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off

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  (914): The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off http://tfl.nu/j2wh
  Replies (6) Good night (902) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.

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  (412): I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit. http://tfl.nu/xhsp
  Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (673)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.

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  (770): I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/mg7r
  Replies (4) Good night (405) Bad night (664)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.

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  (412): because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers. http://tfl.nu/qx0c
  Replies (4) Good night (338) Bad night (469)

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