They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
