I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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