pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
