she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
