your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
