I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just gargled with NyQuil
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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