everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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