i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
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He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
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Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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