Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
