I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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