i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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