She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize