cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
