You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
