She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
