Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
