Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
