Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize