I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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