You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
