My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
