Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.

Fav 3 3643 1593
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(307): View more from Wyoming

they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel

Fav 7 2001 1144
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(731): View more from Tennessee

Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.

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(537): View more from

I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.

Fav 8 2084 762
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

welcome to the club.

Fav 5 1181 812
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(916): View more from California

Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy

Fav 1 1212 694
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(585): View more from New York

You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.

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