if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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