dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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