Non-Jews are for practice
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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