Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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